Host Club Randomness
by hotflamealchemist1
Summary: Four girls find their way into Ouran's Host Club. What could possibly go wrong? Kaoruxoc Hikaruxoc
1. Meeting the Host Club

MUAHAHA

MUAHAHA!! I'm finally writing an Ouran fic!! It's about time I got around to it… I don't own Ouran.

--

Momo sighed as she and her group of friends walked toward the third music room. Hikaru and Kaoru had talked Momo into coming, and if she went, then Mimi, Neko, and Suika had to come too.

"Remind me again why I'm doing this?" Mimi asked, pissed that she was still at school.

"Because Hikaru and Kaoru are our friends, and if we weren't here, we would be sitting at home calling each other whores like we did yesterday." Yup, the first thing the four girls did when they got home yesterday was to sit in the basement and call each other whores.

"I still think Neko is the biggest whore of all…" Suika commented, stopping in front of a door.

"Bitch, why did you stop?" Neko asked, accidentally bumping into her.

"Duh Neko, we're at the third music room." Momo said, taking a deep breath before opening the door. There was no guessing what was waiting for them on the other side, and a part of her didn't want to know. The four girls stepped in, and were immediately bombarded with rose petals.

"HOLY SHIT!! I'M BLIIINNNNDDDD!!" Neko screamed. She turned to run back out the door, but missed and slammed into the wall.

"Is she going to be ok?" Haruhi asked, looking toward the girl, who was twitching violently on the floor.

"Oh yea, she always does this. She'll be fine in a few minutes." Suika explained, barely glancing down at her friend, who wasn't moving at all now.

"Soo… now what?" Momo asked, looking around. The room was empty, they where the first ones there.

"Well, you designate a host." Tamaki explained. (I know, he says more than this, but I'm lazy. You know, just think. Use your imagination.)

"Hmmm…"

Momo and Mimi had gone with Hikaru and Kaoru; Suika had gone with Hunni, and Neko had gone with Kyouya. Wow, I wonder how this will urn out.

--

Ok, I know. It's short. But, I just found out that Ouran is going to be in ENGLISHHH!! So I had to stop before my head spontaneously combusted from excitement. Yea, that could happen with me. OMIGODDD!! Vic Mignogna, Travis Willingham, Caitlin Glass, and Aaron Dismuke are gonna be in it!!


	2. Pool Madness XD

Ok, I'm sorry about the shortness of the last chapter; I like my head and don't want it to spontaneously combust. I don't own Ouran or anybody but Momo. Ok, I'll explain some stuff about the oc's parents. Suika's mother designs the patters for clothing, Neko's mother chooses the colors, and Momo and Nikki's mothers put it together. They work closely with Hikaru and Kaoru's mother, and are never around. Their fathers are successful business men. I'll tell you more later…

--

Well, the club was boring. Mimi and Momo just sat through a bunch of brotherly love, Suika wondered how big Hunny's stomach truly was, and Neko discovered her love of guys with glasses.

"Wait for us, we'll walk you home." Hikaru and Kaoru always walked them home, because they both left at the same time. You see, the girls where in the black magic club. To everyone on the streets, it must have been weird to see a group of people walking down the street, half of them wearing black cloaks and carrying cat puppets. Their houses where right next to each other too. Well, as close as mansions could be.

"Hey… do you guys want to come over and swim?" Neko asked the twins, who nodded, grinning.

"Crap… I don't like that look." Momo backed away, running into the mansion, while everyone just stared at it.

"Well, it looks like my mom has a new favorite color…" Neko muttered, following Momo in. Yup, their house had been painted neon green. This happened occasionally.

"Cool." Suika and Mimi joined their friends, grinning. The color was hurting their eyes.

--

Well, they where all in the back yard playing Marco polo. Hikaru was it, and he was about to get Mimi when his hand got caught… in her bikini strap….

"OH SHIT!!"

"IT BURNNNSSS!!"

"OMIFUCKINGOD!"

"Hmm...Ewww…" Hikaru opened his eyes to see why everyone was screaming, and immediately closed them again. Apparently, he had undone Mimi's bikini strap. She quickly tied it, and everyone opened their eyes again.

"…………..."

"……………"

"……………"

"ALL HAIL THE ALLMIGHTLY AWKWARD SILENCE!!" Momo screamed from her spot on a blow-up island. Hehe, it had a palm tree on it.

"YES! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!" Kaoru agreed. There was another silence before everyone burst out in laughter. Well, that was one way to break an awkward silence.

"Oi, Kaoru, come here." Hikaru called to his twin, who was immediately by his side.

"What is it?" Hikaru then pointed to Momo, who was lying on her island with her eyes closed. They both nodded, and flipped the raft.

"HIKARU! KAORU! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH!!" The two scrambled out of the pool, Momo following. She had somehow managed to throw Hikaru in, but Kaoru was too damn fast for her **(1)**.

--

Momo and Kaoru where lying on the lounge chair while the others sat on the deck behind them. Mimi looked down and noticed something.

"Are you two texting each other?"

"Ummm… Yea?" Momo responded, not looking up.

"Why?"

"Human interaction is soo last month."

--

Haha, still short. I promise, the next chapter will be 1000 words…. Maybe….

**(1)- That sounded extremely wrong… XD**


	3. Hide and Seek Fun

Yay

Yay!! Another new chapter!! I'm extremely bored tonight, so I decided to write. Enjoy! I don't own Ouran. Duh.

--

The group was about to walk out the door when there was a knock. Since Neko was the closest, she answered it.

"Hmm? What are you doing here?" She was surprised to see the other members of the host club.

"Why is your house green?" Hunny asked, tugging on her shirt.

"Because, my mom is insane, and likes to paint our house when nobody is home!" Everyone just stared at her before Hikaru and Kaoru came to the door.

"Why are you guys here?"

"Well, we went to your house like you told us to, but you weren't there, so we thought we should try the neon green house. We figured you would be there." Kyouya explained, scraping off Neko, who had latched onto him in pure fangirlish-ness.

"NOO!! Why do you reject my love?" She cried, running back into the house.

"Right… we better get going." Kaoru said, stepping out the door.

"Right, we'll see you guys on Monday!" Momo attempted to close the door and run for her life, but Hikaru grabbed her wrist.

"Oh no you don't…"

"You're coming with us!"

"NOO!! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE US LIKE THIS?" Momo screamed as Kaoru dragged her across the lawn. She had grabbed Neko's ankle, who grabbed Suika's, who grabbed Mimi's, so it was basically a chain of girls being dragged across a lawn.

"Damn Kaoru, you're strong…." Momo noted. Her arm starting to hurt…

"Hmmm? Oh, thanks. I guess…" He replied, still dragging the chain. They had given up resisting, and where just laying still while Kaoru dragged them, which was not exactly pleasant. They where getting grass stains on their pants…

"You know, we can walk…" Suika pointed out, causing Kaoru to stop.

"You won't run away?" He asked, cautious.

"It depends. Who are you going to send after us?"

"Mori-sempai." Kaoru said casually.

"We won't run!! We promise!!" Mimi said, hands clasped in front of her.

"Please don't send Mori-sempai after us!" Momo pleaded. Behind her, all of the girls where huddled together, a dark aura surrounding them.

"Fine."

"YES!!" Suika, Mimi, and Neko got up and ran as fast as they could across the lawn.

"AHH!! YOU TRAITORS!!" Momo screamed after them as Hikaru grabbed her as a hostage, and Mori and Tamaki chased after the three. "Wait, why do you want us to come so bad? I'm sure if you just told us, they wouldn't run…" She thought out loud, looking around. "Where is Haruhi?"

"She didn't come, so we're going to go over there and try to get her like we got you." Hikaru explained.

"You're going to drag her across town?" She asked. Who the hell would to that? "And why the hell are you hugging me like that?"

"Well, we're not gonna drag her across town, just to the limo. And I'm not hugging you; I'm holding you to make sure you don't run like they did." He pointed to Mori, who had Suika hanging over his shoulder limply, and was carrying Mimi.

"Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that…" Momo assured, trying hard not to laugh as Neko ran past them again, Tamaki struggling to catch her. He could barely keep up with her; she was on a sugar high. Momo wanted to tell him that it was useless; she was invincible when she had sugar, but this was just too fun to watch. He almost had her, but she dodged his hand, and he fell to the ground. By now, Hikaru had let go of Momo and now she was laughing along with the twins. Hunny went to go help Tamaki up and see if he was ok, mostly because Tamaki was making no sudden movements… or any movements at all. And Kyouya was… well… they didn't even know. He WAS the shadow king after all.

--

They were now all in a limo, and headed back from Haruhi's house. The ride was strangely silent, which was surprising, considering the fact that Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki where all in one car… together… Anyway, they had managed to get Haruhi to come without dragging her to the limo, which saved a lot of time.

"Ok, so WHY DO YOU WANT US SO BAD??" Suika asked/screamed, violently shaking Hikaru.

"Well…." Kaoru started.

"Yes??"

"We don't remember." Hikaru and Kaoru both replied, grinning.

"You… You don't remember?!" The girls where pissed. They pulled back into the driveway, and everyone got out. The girls started to walk back to their house, but were stopped by a voice.

"Mori sempai!" It was Hikaru… that bastard….

"Fine!" The girls turned around and walked back. There was no way Suika was going to be thrown over his shoulder again, and Mori didn't want to repeat that situation…

"So what exactly are we doing?"

"It's a sleepover!" Hunny said.

"Shit… you're kidding, right?" Neko asked. Momo was tempted to run, but she figured it was pointless. She sighed.

"Fine. We should go inside; it looks like it's going to rain." Momo noted.

"Hmm… your right." (I bet you can tell where I'm going with this….)

--

"Ok, now what?" Haruhi asked.

"Umm… let's play hide and seek!!" Neko suggested, still sugar high. Everyone just stared at her, but agreed anyway.

They were split into pairs: Hikaru and Mimi, Kyouya and Neko, Kaoru and Momo, and Tamaki and Haruhi. Because of the odd number, the other group has three people, Mori, Hunny, and Suika.

"Ok, Mori, Suika, and Hunny will go first. Everyone else, you can hide anywhere." Hikaru explained. Everyone split up, Momo and Kaoru heading up the stairs.

"Ok, let's just hide in this closet." He pulled the door open, and the two ran inside.

"Hmm… random empty closets… Cool." Momo noted, looking around. It was oddly dark, considering the size of the closet. It was a walk-in, so you would think it would have a light…

"Crap. The light's broken…" Kaoru's voice came from the other side of the closet. Well, that explains a lot.

"Hey Kaoru, there's something I always wanted to ask you, but was afraid to…"

"What is it?" Momo took a deep breath before asking:

"Are you gay?"

"Uhh… no…. are you?" Wow, she had sounded so serious too.

--

XD Haha, that took me a while to write, I'm not used to writing chapters as long as these… Well, it should make up for the two short chapters.


	4. Proof

Ok, Meg wanted a new chapter, so here it is

Ok, Meg wanted a new chapter, so here it is. I don't own Ouran.

--

Momo and Kaoru were still in the closet. It had been a while and they still had not been found, so Momo was starting to get bored.

"Soo… Kaoru… are you gay?" She asked. Kaoru blinked. Hadn't they just gone through this?

"No, I'm not." He said.

"Prove it." Momo said smugly. Kaoru thought for a moment before grinning. If he had to prove it, why not mess with her head too?

"What, trying to fi-" Momo was cut off by a small pressure on her lips.

"Hmm. Is that enough proof for you?" He asked, smirking.

"You suck." She mumbled, backing into the corner of the closet, and the newly-dubbed 'Emo Corner'. Whipping out her cell phone, she texted Mimi.

"**Wassup, Mimi?'**

"_Hikaru kissed me to prove he wasn't gay…"_

"**Omg, Kaoru did the same thing. Wait… are you in the emo corner too?"**

"_Yup… Crap, gotta go, I can hear Hunny and Suika talking outside the closet…"_

"Nice going, Hikaru…" Momo heard Kaoru mumble. She looked over to see his cell phone open, illuminating his face.

"I recall you doing the same exact thing, Kao-Kao." Momo pointed out.

"But I did it first! And what's up with the 'Kao-Kao'?" He was now in front of her.

"WAA? How did you get from that corner…" She pointed to the farthest corner. "…To there?" She pointed in front of her, where Kaoru was currently sitting.

"Duh Momo, I walked."

"Ohh… that makes sense…."

--

They had sat there for almost forty five minutes before they gave up and went outside.

"Damn! It was hot in that closet…" Momo muttered, fixing her shirt."

"Yea, I'm glad we decided to stop…" Kaoru agreed, fixing his hair.

"Whaaa?!" There was a loud voice, and they both turned around, only to see everyone just standing there with shocked expressions. Even Mori looked a little surprised.

"What did you two do in there?" Tamaki asked slowly, while Momo twitched.

"We waited for you people to fucking find us. What the fuck do you think we did?" Momo asked, violently kicked Neko, who laughing hysterically.

"Haha, you don't want to know…" Hikaru said, backing up a little bit.

--

Everyone was now randomly sprawled out, watching a movie. Because Hikaru and Kaoru where what Haruhi like to call 'Rich Bastards', they had a room where the walls where basically screens, and could watch it on any wall you wanted. (Sitting in usual pairings, I don't feel like listing this again…) They were watching 'Treasure Planet' in hopes that Hunny would fall asleep so they could watch The Grudge.

"Hey. He's asleep." Suika announced, poking him just to make sure.

"Good…" Kaoru mumbled, stretching. He was starting to fall asleep…

"Muahahaha!! It's grudge time…" Meg said evilly, pulling out the disk.

"Yay!!" The girls cheered quietly, careful not to wake Hunny. What they didn't notice was the twins smirking at each other. Damn, what where they planning?

--

Yay!! Happy Meg? Haha, I just made this up as I went along… Sorry for it's crap-tastic-ness. I'll probably update on Tuesday or Wednesday, because I have summer band rehearsals and have to sit in a cafeteria for two hours each day…. Wah…. I'm sure I'll get some writing done.


	5. Blackout!

Yay, more chapters of chaptery-ness

Yay, more chapters of chaptery-ness. I don't own Ouran or any other characters except Momo. Warning: A lot of cursing on Momo's part. Stupid random tables…. I now give the twins an older sister. Her name is kit. Yay for more ocs!!

--

They were now about halfway into the movie. Tamaki was hiding behind Kyouya, but couldn't get away because the screens were surrounding him. It was actually hilarious to watch.

'_CRASH!' _Everyone jumped in surprise as the screens went dark, leaving them in a pitch black room.

"…." There was a small silence before the chaos started. They had all gotten up and were now running around blindly, unsure of their current location.

"Ouch…" Somebody had run into Momo while she had just been standing there stupidly.

"Sorry…" Somebody took her hand and lifted her back onto her feet. Momo recognized the voice as Kaoru. "Come on, we should go find the flashlights that are upstairs." He took her hand and led her on the search for working flashlights.

They had successfully found them, after large amounts of shin-banging and cursing. Yes, that was mostly Momo, but Kaoru had contributed to the cursing part. He was more aware of the random tables than she was, even though she was here almost every day.

"Fucking DAMMIT!" She cursed, sitting and holding her leg. "Who the hell puts a frigging table in the middle of the fucking hallway?" Kaoru, who had walked around the table, laughed quietly at her pain. Momo made an attempt to stand up, but had just fallen again.

"Need help?" Kaoru asked, walking back next to her.

"Please?" He picked her up wedding style while she held onto the flashlights, and they headed towards the stairs. About a quarter of the way down, they heard something being dragged behind them. Kaoru quickened his pace, and Momo looked over his shoulder.

"DAMMINT!" Behind them, dragging herself down the stairs was Kayako.

"What?" Kaoru asked, partly deaf from Momo's scream.

"It's the GRUDGE!!"

"No it's not…" He figured she was just trying to scare her.

"Uhh…. Yes, it is…" Momo was seriously scared now. Kaoru just quickened his pace once again, almost running. They where on the bottom steps, but Kaoru tripped over his feet and they both ended up sprawled at the bottom. Momo got a good look, and relaxed.

"What's wrong with you? The grudge is right in front of us and you're not scared?" There was something seriously wrong with this girl….

"Uhh… not exactly… the grudge doesn't have fox ears and a tail…" Kaoru looked up, and saw she was right. How the hell did he miss that?

"What are you doing Kit?" He asked, standing up. Momo succeeded in doing so, but had to lean against Kaoru for support.

"Well, I got bored. There's not much to do when the lights are out…" Kit explained, pulling off the black wig.

"So you decided to scare the crap out of us?" Kaoru asked, not believing his sister.

"Pretty much."

"Nice." Momo commented.

"Thanks."

--

Yay!! New chapterness. To Neko: Please don't kill meeee!!


	6. I forget what this chapter was about XD

Yay…

Yay…. New chapter….. I'm already getting tired of this story. Hmm… I probably should have given it more thought before starting it. Oh well, I don't own Ouran or Uhh…. Crap, what was I going to put in here?

--

Kit had returned upstairs in search of het cat, and Momo and Kaoru went back to find everyone else. Upon entering the room, they were greeted by horrible and just plain frightening singing.

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!!" They both flipped the flashlights on, shining them in the general direction of the singing.

"Oh Shiz!" Momo screamed, jumping as her flashlight landed on something with glowing green eyes.

"Relax, it's just Nolee." Kaoru reminded her.

"Yea, it's just me…" The cat said.

"Yay!! You found Nolee!!" Kit had randomly popped up behind them….. Again….

"Who are you?" Tamaki asked, pointing to the girl with the fox ears.

"Duh, I'm Hikaru and Kaoru's sister." She answered in a tone that said 'Are you that retarded?'

"Why do you have fox ears?"

"Why are you so stupid?" Tamaki stood for a moment, about to protest, but gave up and went to his dark corner.

"Ok, I'm leaving before this gets weirder." Kit picked up Nolee and walked back up the stairs, also picking the black wig up as she went.

"That was weird…" Haruhi commented, watching as the twins poked Tamaki, who didn't respond, so they dragged him out.

--

"Wake up Momo!" She was kicked violently in the back. She was guessing it was Hikaru.

"Fuck you." She mumbled, burying her face deeper into her pillow.

"Ohh…. Really? Wouldn't you rather fuck Kaoru instead?" Momo shot up, causing Hikaru to stumble back and land on Mimi, who was still sleeping.

"OMIGOD!! SEXUAL HARRASMENT!!" Mimi flailed wildly under Hikaru, who had the wind knocked out of him. Kaoru tried to hold in his laugher as his twin attempted tp pick himself up off the floor. Momo looked around, only to find everyone was still sleeping.

"Why did you wake me up?" She asked Kaoru.

"Because."

"Oh… well… go bother Neko." Momo mumbled, once again burying her face into the pillow.

"But I can't!" Kaoru whined, kneeling down next to her.

"Why not?"

"Neko and Kyouya disappeared!!"

"…."

"…."

"Oh crap." They both said in unison, standing up.

--

The search for Neko and Kyouya and turned up no results, so Momo and Kaoru went back.

"Maybe it's a good thing we didn't find them…" Momo said to herself, turning into the hallway.

"Why?"

"Well, if we did find them, how would we know what they would be doing? Would we really want to see that?" There was a moment of silence when Kaoru didn't answer. "You perv!" She screamed, playfully pushing him.

"Like you wouldn't!" There was another silence.

"Damn Kaoru, you know me too well."

--

I'm not sure if I'll continue this or not… Remember, reviews are what keep the story going! Tell me if I should continue or not… (Meg, you have no say in this… and please don't kill me, it was your turn.)


	7. Never let neko drive!

Yay

Yay!! More chaptery-ness!! I don't own Ouran…. I was wondering… what's the correct way to spell Hunny? Is it Hunny or Hanni? Or Hunni? Hmm…

--

"Hey guys, what's up?" Neko asked, walking into the room, Kyouya behind her.

"Where the hell were you two!?" Suika asked, standing up from her spot on the floor.

"…" Kyouya was silent.

"You don't wanna know…." Neko laughed, rubbing the back of her head. There was an awkward silence before the girls got up and headed toward the door.

"Well, that was fun, see ya. BYE!!" Momo called as the four of them ran out the door in a mad dash to get to their house.

"Ok!! We'll pick you up at twelve so we can go to the beach!!" Hikaru called after them. Or maybe it was Kaoru… None of them were really paying attention. The girls simply groaned in response, running into their neon green house.

--

"Are you whores ready?" Mimi called up the steps, grinning as Neko slid down the railing.

"Yea, whatever, homo." Suika mumbled, her and Momo walking down the steps like normal people. At twelve exactly, the limo pulled up in front of their house.

"Well, let's go and get this over with…" Momo sighed, walking out the front door.

"Aloha baby, let's go to the beach!" Neko started to sing, but Suika tripped her, and she fell flat on her face.

"Bitch." Neko's voice was muffled by the ground… poor ground…

The four climbed into the limo, sitting together.

"Hey, what's up Kit?" Mimi asked the girl sitting across from her.

"Nothing much… I taught Nolee to throw a kunai…" Momo looked down at the cat, which was holding something in her mouth. "Show them, Nolee!" The cat jumped, and then in mid-air, she threw the kunai.

"My eye!!" How the kunai hit their driver's eye they would never know, but the limo swerved, causing everyone to fall from their seats.

"Mr. Wiggles! Get the brakes!" Momo commanded as a ferret pooped up out of nowhere.

"Hai!" It rushed to the front, applying as much pressure as possible to the brake, causing the limo to stop abruptly.

"Ok, who's driving?" Haruhi asked, looking around. Everyone was sprawled in random positions all around. Her and Kyouya where still sitting, they where the only ones who actually put on seatbelts. Momo and Kaoru were off to the side, just kind of lying there, while everyone else was in a huge pile on top of Mori and Tamaki.

"Ouch…" Neko mumbled, she was stuck somewhere in the middle.

"Is everyone ok?" Hunny asked, climbing from the top.

"Fine…" Tamaki was surprisingly un-dramatic.

"Just great."

"Peachy." Kaoru mumbled. Momo violently kicked him, only causing him to laugh. (Momo means peach in Japanese)

"That was soo not funny…" She mumbled, sitting up.

"Oh, I'll drive!" Neko offered, jumping out and opening the front door. She dragged the lifeless body around to the trunk, and then slid into the driver's seat.

"Lord help us all…" Mimi muttered curling up into a ball.

"What?! Is she really that bad?!" Tamaki started to panic; looking for a way out, but Neko locked the doors and pressed her foot to the gas.

"Hmm… I've never driven a limo before…" She said to herself. "Nobody's around… let's put the pedal to the metal!"

"No Neko! Bad!! BAD!!" Suika yelled, trying to stand, but it was pointless. Neko simply closed the small window between them.

"… Fuck!!" Mimi screamed, nailing digging farther into the seat. They had only been driving for a few minutes when they hit their first curve. Tamaki was clinging to Haruhi, who was still totally calm, while Momo clung to Kaoru. Everyone else was just praying they would make it out of there alive. Suddenly, the window separating them rolled back down.

"We're here!" Neko called, smiling. Hikaru groaned, attempting to stand up.

"That was supposed to be a one hour ride. How did you get us here in ten minutes?" Kyouya asked, shocked. Neko simply grinned in response.

"Never doubt the power of insane cats…"

--

WEE!! It's done! I know, it's not my best, I'm trying to get rind of my writer's block before it gets horrible --…


	8. Chapter 8

Yay, it's a new chapter… I'm so unmotivated… Anyway, I don't own Ouran

Yay, it's a new chapter… I'm so unmotivated… Anyway, I don't own Ouran, Best friend, or Yo Gabba Gabba. . Thanks to all the people who reviewed… ONWARD!!

--

It was decided that they would stay at the girl's beach house over night, so they would have enough time to find a new driver.

"That's a small house…" Tamaki was amazed by the size.

"Not really, it's actually one of the biggest in this town." Mimi corrected him, walking up the stairs to the front door. It was a two level house, the top level was the main, and the lower lever was the basement. As soon as she opened the door, a pack of dogs ran out, jumping all over the hosts.

"Fuck." Everyone that wasn't currently being attacked by large dogs looked down.

"Uhh… Kit? Did you just fall up the steps?" Momo asked, holding back laughter.

"Yes."

"Ohh… nice." The dogs went back inside, so everyone followed their lead.

"It's even smaller on the inside!" The twins exclaimed, examining a plant that hung from the ceiling.

"Umm… thanks?"

"No problem."

--

Their plans to go to the beach were demolished when Seamus, the yellow lab, decided to eat Kyouya's bathing suit. He refused to wear a commoner bathing suit, so they where stuck with nothing to do. It had started out with all the girls just sitting on the couch in the living room, singing 'Best Friend' and dying from heat and boredom.

"HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, BEST OF ALL BEST FRIENDS! DO YOU HAVE A BEST FRIEND TOO?" Neko insisted on screaming every line of the song that she sung, and Momo was becoming extremely pissed because she always got the guys parts so it made her sound yuri-ish. Mimi, Suika, and Kit where watching _Yo Gabba Gabba_ and commenting on how completely stupid it was, Mori and Hunny were just sitting with them, and the rest had disappeared.

"Hey… where are the other guys?" Suika asked, looking around.

"They went to the beach. Did you seriously just notice that?" Momo asked, hitting her roughly in the back of the head.

"How could you? Tamaki announced it as loud as humanly possible before they left!" Mimi added.

"Really? Well, why aren't you guys with them?" Suika looked over at Hunny and Mori. Mori looked bored out of his mind, and Hunny was eating cake.

"Takashi and I didn't want to leave you all alone!!"

"… AWWW!!" She squealed and picked him up, squeezing him.

"WHORE!" Everyone stopped and looked over at Neko and Momo, who were fighting. Again.

"BITCH!!"

"Slut!"

"Slore!"

"Bitchslutwhore!" The door then slammed open, interrupting them.

"Hmm? Are you ok, Kaoru?" Momo asked, concerned. He was silent for a second, catching his breath from running the two blocks from the beach to their house.

"There was an accident!" In a flash, they were all down at the beach.

"Oh. Fuck." Apparently, there was a shark attack…

"NOO!! KYOUYA!!" Neko screamed, looking down at the body. Well, it was half of Kyouya, anyway.

"I know, now isn't the time for this, but your sex life is gonna suck." Momo commented.

"OH SHIZ!" Neko shot up, scaring the shit out of Mimi, who sat next to her.

"WHAT?" Everyone looked over at her.

"Umm… was I asleep?"

"Yes. You were screaming 'Kyouya!' so we thought it would be best if we left you alone." Kaoru explained.

"But we do want to know what the dream was about…"

"…"

"YOU WHORE!!"

--

Ok, that one wasn't very funny. But I promise in the next chapter, we'll actually go down to the beach.


	9. Chapter 9

Yay

Yay!! It's a new chapter!! I wrote this when I was sitting on the beach (It as pretty boring… and loud…. Damn AC air show. It was the next fucking town over.) Anyway, I don't own Ouran… Oh, I keep forgetting, the oc's can look any way you want them to, I'm too lazy to write descriptions.

--

Tamaki had borrowed one of Kyouya's bathing suits, so they were all sitting on the beach. Hunny, Mori, and the girls were digging a large and random hole, Tamaki had fallen asleep and the twins were covering him with seaweed, and Kyouya was writing in his notebook.

"Hey Kyouya, what do you write in that?" Mimi asked as Neko looked over to make sure he wasn't paying attention as she walked over. She grabbed his notebook and threw it to Momo. Hikaru and Kaoru abandoned Tamaki, peering over her shoulders as she flipped through the book. The first half was filled with names, and the second half looked like it was some kind of story.

"Holy shit!" Hikaru exclaimed, looking at the various names that littered the page.

"WHAT?! Kyouya has his own death note?" Neko asked.

"Umm… I really don't think this is a death note…" Momo mumbled.

"Then what is it?

"Well, all the names are girls… Oh! Here is yours!"

"Omigod, it's in here over 15 times!!" Kit exclaimed, backing up slightly.

"Damn! You whore!!" The twins screamed, rolling in the sand, laughing.

"Shut up. I'm going back." Neko stood up and started to walk back to the house.

"Now what?" Everyone turned to look at Hunny. "What?"

"It's nothing, we just haven't heard you talk in almost five or six chapters… the author apparently has trouble writing lines for you." Kit explained, glaring up at the sky.

"I have to agree… Hey, I should make you guys go parasailing…" A voice came out of nowhere, and Tamaki threw himself onto the sand.

"STOP THE VOICES!!" Mimi screamed, running around in circles.

"Hey, let's go parasailing!" Suika said, jumping up. Everyone nodded in agreement, and started walking up the boardwalk to the docks.

--

"Yo, Bob!" Momo called as they stepped into a small parking lot in front of a dock.

"Bob?" Kyouya asked, raising his eyebrow at the girls.

"Oh yea, his real name is Hayate, but we like to call him Bob." Suika said.

"Hey girls!" A boy around eighteen stepped out of a small building to greet them. He had short brown hair and was TOTALLY HOT.

"We wanna go parasailing. Can you help?" Neko asked, resisting the urge to tackle him to the ground and do… well… very bad things.

"Sure, let's go!" He led them down the dock to a small boat, and helped the girls up. Mori helped Hunny on, and then everyone else climbed up.

"Ok, sit with who you're gonna go up with." There was a bench on either side of the boat. On one sat Haruhi, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Hunny, and Mori. On the other was Momo, Mimi, Neko, Kyouya, Suika, Kit, and Nolee.

"Ok, here we go!

--

Haha!! I finally made a new chapter!! Yayz! I wanted to get this done, so I cut it off… I'll write more tomorrow…


	10. OMG! ZOMBIES!

Yay

Yay! New chapter… I can't believe I'm going back to school on Friday… I don't own Ouran or any other characters, only Momo belongs to me… Haha, I modeled the boardwalk after Ocean City (The New Jersey one), I spent a good chunk of my summer down in Ventnor, and we went there every night… I'm gonna miss summer…

--

They had made it out to the middle of the ocean when they realized that they had forgotten the parachute, so they decided to go back and just hang out for a while. They were all squished onto an L-shaped couch, which was designed to hold only five people.

"Hey, we should go down to the boardwalk." Mimi said, a grin on her face.

"Yea, totally!" Neko agreed.

"That sounds fun, but we just have to wait for Momo and Takashi to get back." Hunny said. Momo had left to walk the dogs, and Mori had offered his help. As if on cue, they heard a voice from up the street.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"Well, it sounds like Momo is back." Kyouya noted, pushing his glasses up. They all stood up to look out the window. Momo was attempting to keep up with a Yellow Lab and an Irish setter (Her attempts were failing horribly…) and Mori was having no trouble at all. Figures. She ran up the steps, tripping multiple times before reaching the top and slamming open the door.

"Holy. Shit."

"You have fun?" Hikaru asked, grinning.

"Fuck you." Momo muttered. She walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. Hunny jumped up next to her, smiling.

"We're going to the boardwalk, are you coming with us?" She thought for a second.

"Sure, why not? I wanna shoot things…"

--

After walking a few blocks over, they had arrived.

"Ok, now what?"

"Now we go shoot zombies." Momo grabbed Kaoru's wrist and pulled him into an arcade. Everyone followed them in, finding something to do.

"Hmm… House of the dead?" Momo nodded.

"Yup! It's fun." While they were shooting zombies, Hikaru, Mimi, Suika, and Kit were motorcycle racing.

"Haha! Take that, bitch!" Yes, Kit was determined to knock Hikaru off at any possible time. Hunny was trying to beat DDR, Mori was just going along with it. Haruhi was playing ski-ball with Kyouya, who had no idea what he was doing there, and Neko was trying to teach Tamaki how to shoot a target, which wasn't working out very well.

"HOLY SHIT!!" Everyone in the whole building turned in the direction of the scream. Kyouya and Haruhi shook their heads, looking at the couple who were furiously shooting at a large zombie who they were guessing was the boss.

"Aim for the head!!"

"Dammit Kao-kao, you're the one that's not hitting its head!"

"You're blue!"

"No, you're blue!!" Kaoru glanced down at his gun, which turned out to be blue.

"…"

"Haha! Take that, zombie bitch!" Hmm, three guesses as to whom that was.

--

Yayz! It's done!! It took me a while to get done; I was suffering from writer's block… Anyway, the next chapter should be out on Friday or Saturday, the first day or school is boring and I'm sure I'll get some writing done….


	11. GlOmP!

T-T I seriously can't believe I started school … Anyway, I don't own Ouran or any of the characters except Momo, and I'm sorry, I ran out of ideas for summer, so we're skipping to winter.

--ff to winter--

The four girls stayed after school, abandoning the host club shortly after they got there, so now they were standing in a snow-filled courtyard.

"Damn, it's cold out here…" Mimi muttered, rubbing her hand together.

"Yea, I know. Why the hell did you want to leave the club if you're SO FUCKING COLD!?" Neko screamed, pegging her in the back with a snowball.

Meanwhile, from the host club, Hikaru and Kaoru were looking down on them. It was a slow day; most of their clients had gone straight home because of the forming blizzard. The ones that did stay, however, were either Tamaki or Haruhi's clients, leaving the rest to do as they pleased.

"Hikaru, I believe we should join them."

"… Agreed."

(Back to where we left the girls…)

"What the hell was that for?!" Mimi screamed, hurling a snowball in Neko's direction. She ducked and it hit Suika, who spaced out.

"STRAWBERRIES AND WAFFLES!" She then fell off of the bench she had been sitting on and into a pile of snow.

"Ka-chan! Are you ok?" Hunny ran over to the girl, who was twitching.

"HOLY CRAP!! Who the fuck put a kunai into the snowball?" Momo asked, examining the weapon that lay one the ground, covered in blood. Her blood.

"Ah! You found it." Kit popped up behind her, an evil glint in her eyes **(1).**

"Is this yours?" (That line reminds me of Treasure planet… XD) Kit nodded and took the kunai back, handing it to the feline behind her, who took off.

"Hey! Wait for me!" The girl called, chasing after the cat. Kaoru shook his head at the sight.

"Honestly, sometimes I don't know if Kit's the owner or if it's the other way around…" He sighed, and then turned around to face Momo. "Are you ok? That cuts looks pretty deep…"

"Are you kidding? Neko is an extremely violent bitch, and Suika likes to shank everything that moves. If I can live with that, I think I'll be ok."

Kaoru was about to say something else, but was cut off when Mimi launched a snowball that hit him square in the face.

"Oops, sorry Kaoru! I thought you were Hikaru…" Mimi apologized, laughing as he tried to wipe the snow off.

"What? I'm right next to you!!" She looked to the side, only to find a pissed Hikaru.

"Right… sorry about that, I couldn't tell from far away." Mimi then got a mischievous glint in her eye, causing Momo and Kaoru to back up slightly.

"Oh shit…" Momo mumbled, looking for a place to run. Finding none, she clung to Kaoru and braced herself.

"OMG GLOMP!!" Of course, as soon as she hit the ground, Neko, Suika and Hikaru decided to launch themselves onto the pile.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Omigod! RAPE!!"

--

Yes, I actually got around to writing the chapter. My teachers decided to bombard me with useless projects, so I didn't have much time for writing…. So I'm really sorry for the lateness, and sorry to Meg. You're just violent, not a bitch… -yay!-

**(1)- I accidently wrote pooped instead of popped. Yea, it's really stupid, but when I re-read it, I laughed really hard for about five minutes before I changed it… yea, I have no life… T-T**


	12. Halloween! Part 1

Yay, it's a new chapter

Yay, it's a new chapter!! I'm soooo sorry for not updating, school has been evil and we have a science test every other day (I'm serious) and I've been kinda depressed about the economy and stuff, especially about Wachovia being sold, most of my family works there… Anyway, I'm skipping back in time for this chapter, because I'm hyped about Halloween 8D

--

"Holy crap, we're so sorry!" The girls bowed deeply to their class president as they burst into their homeroom, late.

"It's ok; we're just getting started…" He motioned for them to sit at their table with Haruhi and the twins.

"What did we miss?" Momo asked, sitting next to Kaoru.

"Nothing much, we're just deciding what we should do for Halloween." He answered, causing the four girls to smile. This was by far their favorite time of the year. All classes were cancelled, and they could scare the crap out of everyone and not get in trouble for it.

"I don't see why this is such a big deal…" Haruhi commented, glancing up at the front of the room, where the class's president and vice president were standing.

"Haruhi, you only came in as a special student after middle school, so you probably don't know this. At Ouran, from now until the last day of October, all classes are cancelled. We are given permission to organize masquerades on campus." The vice president explained.

"Furthermore, to promote class bonding, we are also allowed to use an entire day for a class event." The president added.

"Event?" Haruhi asked. Kit randomly appeared and sat on their table.

"Well, most of the time, we just have tea parties or watch movies." She explained.

"Not enough!" Neko sighed and turned around.

"Shit, not this bitch again…" Renge stood on the table next to Kit.

"Not enough I say!"

Mimi started hitting her head roughly against the wall, muttering curses under her breath.

"Halloween! A day that declares the end of summer and the beginning of winter!"

"Hey, does she ever say anything that doesn't use an exclamation point?" Suika asked Neko, who snickered.

"Halloween! A day where people disguise themselves with the same look of the visiting ghosts and devils!"

"I don't think it's humanly possible…" Neko responded.

"Hallow-" Kit reached over and pushed the girl off the table, interrupting her rant.

"Nice!" Momo said, dropping the knife that had been dangerously close to her wrist.

"Renge, we're still in our homeroom session, please get up off the floor." He went to say something to Kit, but she had disappeared along with Nolee.

"How does she always do that?" Haruhi asked, staring at the empty space.

"Cosplaying and tea parties? We do that every day at the host club!" Renge jumped back up with even more energy than before.

"Jesus Christ, does she ever shut up?" Momo asked, staring at the girl.

"Sadly, no." Hikaru said.

"I now propose the Halloween special fear trail tournament!" The girls stared at Renge in amazement. This was the first time she EVER had a really good idea. And it would definitely be fun… The twins smiled mischievously, causing the girls to back up slightly.

"Oh shit…"

--

YES!! IT'S DONE!! Kagome-Loves-Kouga finally made me get off my lazy ass and write, so you people should thank her… and is anyone else worried about the Ouran category being flooded and overrun? I mean, a lot of people only watch anime in English, and now that it's being released, will it be flooded with horribly written stories, kinda like the Naruto category? I mean, there are some fantastic writers, but I'm just kinda scared…. Anyway, part two of the chapter should be up soon, I gotta figure the whole Hikaru/Haruhi thing out…. I should've thought of this ahead of time…. Shit.


	13. Halloween! Part 2

Ok, this is reallyyyyy late. I'm sorry. I really have no excuse… Anyway, I don't own Ouran. WHOOHOO!

---

It was the night of Halloween, and the students were gathered at Ouran. Just as they were about to start, Tamaki burst in.

"Haruhi! I forbid you to take part in this sort of activity!" He dragged her out without a problem.

"Ok… that was weird, but expected from him. What now?" Mimi asked, sitting down in the middle of the hallway.

"I don't know, I guess we walk around." Kaoru said, leaning against the wall.

Momo looked around, feeling that the room was just too…. Boring. An idea popped into her head, making her grin.

"They say I'm really sexy, the boys they wanna sex me, they always standin next to me, always dancin next to me!!" Everybody's heads snapped up, including Momo's. Mori was standing at the end of the hallway, singing.

"Momo, I thought that was you singing…" Hikaru mumbled, trying hard not to curl up and force the image out of his mind.

Momo got up off the floor, but was pulled down again by Neko.

"No you don't…"

"But Neko!!! I wanna dance with Mori-Sempai…" Momo whined, trying to stand up again, only to be pulled back down.

"No. He's obviously tired, and there's no telling what you might do to him."

"Trying ta feel my hump hump, lookin at my lump lump! You can look but you can't touch it! If you touch it I'ma start some drama!"

"Ok, let's move on…" Kaoru mumbled, dragging Momo along.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea." Mimi agreed, following.

"Noo!!! I wanna stay here!" Momo cried. She tried to dig her nails into the floor, but it was too hard and smooth. "Damn you floor polish!"

All of a sudden, a dark figure jumped out in front of them. Using her quick reflexes, Neko aimed and kicked somewhere in the groin area. Everyone watched as the figure dropped to the floor.

"Ooh! Nice aim!" Suika commented, nudging it with her foot.

"Oi, look! It's Dylan!"

Dylan was the creepy boy who lived next door to the girls. He was the usual perverted teenage stalker, spying on them when they were swimming; looking into their windows when they took showers. (He almost got killed by Neko for that one.)

Hikaru and Kaoru started to nudge him with their feet, and the girls watched from a safe distance.

"Mmmm…. Suika…" Dylan moaned. He grabbed the leg nearest to him, which happened to be Kaoru, and… started to hump it.

Kaoru stepped back, but he hung on tight.

"Hikaru, get him off!" Kaoru cried as Hikaru kicked Dylan in the head, making him fall back to the floor. Neko took advantage of the situation, and stomped violently on him before walking away.

"Well, are you guys coming or not?" She asked, turning around to smile sweetly. Momo nodded and quickly walked next to her, terrified. When Neko smiled like that, bad things tended to happen. Mimi and Suika just stared blankly at the four of them.

"What the fuck are you two waiting for?" Neko asked. Momo stood behind her with Hikaru Kaoru, glaring at Kaoru. She was obviously still angry about not being able to dance with Mori.

After a few moments of silence, Kit popped up from behind plant and started to leave. Nolee followed, using her kunai to cut a random piece of Dylan off.

"You people are boring. Screw this, I'm going home."

-----

Yes, crappy ending. I'm sorry, but it's late and I told myself I would have this thing up tonight. Well, here it is. Two weeks late and really crappy. Yay! New chapter should be out around thanksgiving, because we have lots of days off XD


	14. Christmas 1

Haha, I can't wait for this chapter, this is gonna be awesome to write… ONWARD!! (I don't own Ouran, Mimi, Neko, or Suika.) OMFG! It's Christmas!!! I'm SOOO gonna write this chapter with my tablet XP It changes your handwriting to text! HOLY CRAP!

----

Momo, Neko, Suika, and Mimi walked into the host club early, ignoring the looks from other girls.

"Why the hell did you make us come h-" Neko started, but was hit in the face by a plastic bag. The other girls caught them with ease.

"This stuff looks like shit. What the hell is it?" Momo asked, examining the contents.

"It's a reindeer suit. Put it on." Tamaki ordered, pulling on his hat.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Neko asked, carefully taking out her suit and looking it over.

"I'm Santa!"

Mimi looked over at Kyouya. "And what the hell are you supposed to be?"

"Duh, he's an elf!" Suika exclaimed. She tugged on his pointy ears, and they stayed.

"…"

"Dude, are those your real ears?" Momo asked, mimicking Suika's actions.

"No, we hired a makeup artist. Those aren't my real ears."

"Well, what reindeer am I?" Neko asked. She might as well know what she was if she was going to be tortured like this. If there was one thing Neko hated, it was Christmas. And Dylan. She really hated him too.

"Whatever reindeer you want to be, you can be."

"Mkay!"

"Good. Now get changed."

"Ok!" Suika started to pull off her shirt, and Mori clapped his hand over Hunny's eyes.

"NOT HERE, YOU IDIOT!" Neko screamed, pulling the girl back into the dressing rooms.

"Ohh…"

"Aww, why did you have to stop her?" Dylan popped up out of the piano, a small stream of blood dripping from his nose.

"Mori…" Momo muttered, glaring at Dylan. He nodded and grabbed the boy by the collar, dropping him roughly in the hallway.

"Hmm… nice!" She smiled, joining her friends in the dressing room. "What took you so long?" Haruhi inquired, already dressed. She was Rudolf and Suika, Mimi, and Momo were fighting the urge to burst into song.

"Uh… we had a run-in with Dylan, but Mori took care of him. I don't think he'll be back anytime soon."

"Nice!" Neko exclaimed.

"Aren't you too hard on him?" Haruhi asked, adjusting her antlers. By now, everyone was fully dressed and ready to go back out into the club room.

"Well, are you all ready to face the fan girls?" There was nothing worse than the host club's clients when it came to fan girls. They were, in a way, parasites. The definition of a parasite is 'An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different organism while contributing nothing to the survival of its host.' They thought that sounded oddly familiar, especially the host part.

" … No." Momo glanced out the window before turning to Neko.

"If we jump out the window and manage to land in the reflecting pool, what do think the damages would be?"

Neko thought for a moment. "If we're lucky, we might only break both of our legs."

"That's a chance I'm willing to take."

-----

YAY! Part 1 of the Christmas chapter! More characters will be in the second part, I still need to put in Kit and Dylan XD I didn't forget about you guys! Oh, and Nolee too XP


	15. Turning Back Time

^_^ Hey, maybe this'll actually be up in time! I've decided to go back in time and show how each relationship started (Exception of Momo and Mori, I just had that thought)… The first parts are gonna be a little serious fluffiness, but I'm gonna do some things at the end X3 NOW ONWARD! (I don't own Ouran or any characters but Momo)

----

First up- Hunny and Suika

----

"Ka-chan!" Hunny carefully tugged on her sleeve, trying to get her attention.

"Huh?!" She looked around, unsure of where the voice came from.

"Ka-chan, I'm down here!" Hunny said sadly.

"Oh, I knew that. I was uh… just kidding! That's it, I was just kidding!"

Hunny looked thoughtful for a moment. "Haha, I get it!"

Suika sighed in relief as Hunny shoveled more cake into his mouth, completely oblivious to the situation. Suika sighed and randomly pulled out a strawberry, popping it into her mouth.

"Hey Ka-chan, can I have a strawberry?" He asked innocently, blinking with his big, cute eyes.

Suika was silent for a moment before she shook her head.

Hunny was a bit surprised, and he frowned. Well, if she wouldn't give him the strawberry, he would just have to get it himself. In a flash he was on her lap, his lips pressed against hers. Before she even knew what had just happened, he was back in his seat, a huge smile on his face.

"Thanks Ka-chan!"

It was just then that Suika noticed she no longer had her strawberry. Maybe she would let it go just this once…

------

Next- Neko and Kyouya

------

A loud crash echoed through the host club, startling its members. For the past few days, all of their free time had been used to train their newest waitresses. Mimi, Suika, and Momo were ready to go, but Neko had the odds working against her.

Neko tripped over air, and that only became worse when she had to hold a heavy tray full of breakable objects. This week alone she had broken about ten tea sets… Wait, no, it was eleven now.

"Would you please be careful, Neko? You're causing more trouble than it's worth." Kyouya commented. He didn't even have to look up to know what had happened.

"Excuse me?" She snapped back, obviously fed up. Oh crap. Neko was mad. Nothing good ever happened when Neko was mad. "I'd like to see you try to balance a tray while trying to walk in these damn heels!"

"I believe I could do a better job than you could," He replied calmly, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

Oh God. That was it.

"Why don't you come over here and say that, you little pansy?!"

"Ok, I think we should go," Suika muttered, scrambling out the door before objects started to fly. The rest nodded in agreement and hastily followed, quickly slamming the door behind them.

Kyouya stood up and started to walk over to where she stood. "Now, don't do anything you might regret later…"

Neko blinked and turned so her back was to him. "You think I would regret kicking your ass? I can't remember what I ever saw in you, you're such a jerk!"

"I could say the same for you, Neko."

She listened as his footsteps got farther away before she thought about what he said. The realization hit her full force, and she tackled him to the ground. "Aww! Kyou-Kyou loves me!"

Kyouya twitched at her sudden change of moods, but thought that maybe, just maybe, he was making the perfect choice.

------

Next- Momo and Mori

------

Neko and Momo sat on the couch in the middle of the host club, enjoying their day off. It was just then that Momo noticed something.

"Hey, did you ever notice how empty and boring this room is?"

Neko looked around. The walls were basically empty.

"I guess… What makes you say that?"

"Well, I think we should paint something… or sculpt… the possibilities are endless!"

"Yea! Let's go ask Kyouya!" They scurried over to the small table that he regularly sat at.

"What do you two want this time?" He asked in his usual annoyed voice.

"We wanna make stuff for the room. It's cold and boring."

Kyouya thought for a moment. "I guess that could work… paint whatever you want, but there must be a picture of each host."

"Got it! Any specific requirements? Clothes? Poses? Naked?"

Kyouya pinched the bridge of his nose. "No. Just leave me alone."

"Gotcha!"

-

The next week, Neko and Momo kicked everyone out of the club so they could put up their artwork.

Momo peeked out of the room. "You guys can come in now."

The hosts filed, surprisingly, quietly into the room. They surveyed each painting, nodding in approval.

"Oh hey!" Hikaru exclaimed, drawing more attention then necessary. "This one has a lot of detail…" It was a painting of Mori, shirtless, who looked like he had just steeped out of the shower. Water droplets sparkled in his hair and glistened on his perfect abs… ok, maybe Momo was getting ahead of herself, but there was just something about the tiny smile that was on his face that made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Kind of like he was looking at her. Of course, she would never tell them he actually WAS looking at her when she witnessed the perfect moment.

They all looked over to her, and she was grinning evilly. "That kind of detail only comes from experience, Hikaru."

----------

Oh noes! I had NO IDEAS for Mimi and Hikaru! I just HAD to get this up tonight, so I didn't have time to think… Oh well, I think it was pretty good. Reviews are nice… They're warm and fuzzy and taste like love. Well, not really, but you get the point. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!


	16. Chapter 16

Yayness! It's a new chapter! Ok, I was just sitting in health (Where all of my fanfictions are born, really… you know, the drug version, not sex. That one is next.) When I got this weird idea. I was like "Do they have Sex Ed in Ouran?" I don't own Ouran or anything but Momo. Oh! I forgot! I HIT THE 50 REVIEW MARK! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love you all. In a friend way. Oh! Right! Fair warning, this chapter contains words that some might find inappropriate. Don't like, don't read, mkay?

----

There was an hour before classes started, and everyone was gathered in the host club as usual. Only, this time, there were two people missing. Neko and Momo had been called down to meet with the school's administrators, and nobody had seen them since.

"Hey, do you think they died?" Mimi asked Hikaru, who shrugged.

"Maybe…"

The door slammed open and the two girls bounced in, smiled on their faces.

"Guess what?!"

"Umm… you're dead?" Suika asked, completely serious.

Momo frowned at her moment of stupidity and shook her head. "Nope. We're gonna have a new class," She grinned and sat down on the couch.

"Oh really? And what class might this be?" Kyouya asked, slightly surprised that he hadn't known of this until now.

"Sex education!" Neko exclaimed. She smiled wider as Haruhi dropped a cup she had been holding. Kyouya scribbled something down on a clip board, no doubt adding the broken cup to her debt.

"And Neko-chan and I will be teaching it!"

The entire club was silent as they absorbed that information.

"Hmm… We better get going and get ready! We have our first class in ten minutes!" Momo walked briskly from the room, Neko trailing closely behind.

"See you guys in class!"

-----

Momo looked out at the room full of empty desks. "Who do we have first?"

Neko glanced down at the list that the principal had given her. "Umm….3-A."

Momo snickered and started to draw a large diagram on the board. "That's Mori and Hunny's class…"

Neko's eyes widened. "No way! Won't this be fun…?"

The bell sounded and students started to drift into the class, unsure if they were in the right place.

"Ok, let's get star-" Neko turned around, only to find almost everyone out of their seats. "Sit the fuck down," She commanded. Everyone did as they were told, and she smiled with satisfaction. "Ok, we're going to assign a little project…" She reached back, never taking her eyes off the class. "Momo, the topics."

"Hmm?" Momo turned away from the board, which was now covered with crude drawings and labels.

"The topics. Where are they?"

"Oh…" She handed her a basket filled with small papers. On each one, there was a topic on which the students must do a report.

"Ok, pick one, write about it for homework, and let me get started." The basket was passed around the room until it reached the front again, empty.

"Ok, now that that's done, let's get started."

The rest of the senior classes went fine, but they hit a rough patch when their second year class arrived.

"Ok, any questions?" Momo asked. Neko was sitting in the corner, trying hard not to kill Tamaki, who kept asking the worst possible questions in the world.

A boy in the corner raised his hand.

"Uhh…. Yea?"

"Why is there a penis riding a segway drawn on the board?"

"Because they're freaking awesome. Any real questions?"

Tamaki raised his hand once again and Momo sighed.

"What is it this time?"

"What's an orgasm?"

She sighed and shook her head, walking over to his desk. She leaned down and whispered into his ear, and the blush on his face grew darker by the second.

She was interrupted by the bell, which meant it was time for lunch.

"Thank God…" Neko muttered, locking the door behind her.

"M hmm…" Momo hummed, running her fingers through her hair.

When they opened the doors to the cafeteria, they were surprised to find most of the students discussing their topics.

"What's so interesting about them…?" Momo asked in wonder as she sat down across from Mori and Hunny.

"Well, most of the students here haven't heard of this stuff before," Hunny explained, looking down at his own paper.

"Hey, what did you guys get?" Tamaki asked excitedly as he joined then at the table.

"Penises!" Hunny shouted happily, shoving another forkful of cake into his mouth. The girls clapped their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing.

Momo quickly regained her composure and Neko followed after a moment.

"I got orgasms," Tamaki said happily.

"Butt sex," Kyouya said nonchalantly. Momo giggled. Neko must have slipped that one in…

"Vaginas," Mori stated.

Momo and Neko were silent for a moment before they both burst into laughter.

"O- Omigod!" Momo gasped, trying to catch her breath.

"That's hilarious!"

------

They had made it through the rest of the day, and today the reports were due. Because of some odd circumstance, the order of the classes had been switched and the freshman class was first.

"Ok Dylan, please present your report on… The Joys of Sex," Neko read from the paper. "Oh god."

"Thank you," Dylan said. He pulled out a paper and began. "Oh yea, sex is great. 'Cept when you're drunk and people are barfing all over each other. The end."

"Uhh… that was… very nice…" Momo said, clapping. She quickly stopped when she realized she was the only one in the room actually clapping.

The day seemed to drag on forever.

"Ok, since we can't stand listening to another report, we're gonna play a little game," Neko explained to the class. The students stared back at her.

"I'm going to say a word, and you guys say the first word that comes to mind."

"Yay! How do we play?!" Hunny's voice came from the back of the room.

"Here, Momo and I will demonstrate." She turned to Momo. "Vampires."

"Cold hard dicks."

"Uhh… werewolves?"

"Big dicks!"

Neko sighed. "Ok, everyone get the point?"

The class nodded, slightly creeped out by Momo's responses.

"Ok… book."

"Book!" The first girl responded. Momo twitched and moved on to the next person.

"Table."

"TABLE!"

"HOW ABOUT NOT USING THE WORD I JUST SAID!?!"

No response.

"FUCK THIS, I QUIT!"

----

Kind of a bad place to end it, but I wanted to put it up tonight. Up next: A chapter dedicated to Suika! (Don't ask, you know who I'm talking to. Yea, that's right.)


	17. Man Skirts!

**Omg. All I have to say is- THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS!! They make me happy X3. I don't own Ouran or any characters but Momo.**

----

It was nearly summer break at Ouran Academy. The weather was getting warmer, and the students were… restless. Final exams were over, so they were basically just sitting around waiting for school to end. This, however, was the host club's busiest time of year. The week's theme was traditional costumes from around the world, so the girls weren't really sure what they would see today.

"Holy. Crap." The club stood before them in all their kilted glory.

The four girls walked past them and into the dressing room to change.

"Hey, do you think they're wearing underwear?" Momo asked perversely, adjusting her costume. It was their normal maid's uniform, but instead of the normal black fabric, it was red plaid.

The three girls stared at her.

"What? I'm just saying, those guys in Scotland don't."

"We could always find out…" Neko suggested. "I have a mirror, if you position it just right…"

There was a moment of silence.

"Let's do it!" Suika cheered, yanking the mirror from Neko's grip.

Neko gave a small whine as Suika dashed from the room.

"Meet us back here in ten minutes!" Mimi called after her.

Momo rolled her eyes and gave Neko another mirror and then grabbed one for her. Accidentally, Mimi stepped backwards and fell down two flights of stairs and out a window. Hehe, oops.

"Eh, we'll clean it up later," Neko muttered.

Momo nodded in agreement and followed Neko back into the club room. She began to devise a plan in her mind. If she just 'happened' to trip and drop her tray next to Mori and then if she held the mirror at the perfect angle, she should have a pretty good view…

Glancing over at Neko she saw that the girl had just crawled halfway across the room on her hands and knees. Surprisingly, nobody else seemed to notice her. She was now under Kyouya's chair, abandoning her mirror, staring straight up his kilt.

'Way to go, Neko,' Momo thought to herself, placing a small tea pot and cups on her tray. She figured she might as well _pretend_ she was actually doing something. She didn't expect, however, to _actually_ trip and drop her tray.

"Oh shit," Momo muttered. She hadn't fallen herself, but the tea set was dead and the carpet was soaked with the hot liquid.

"Damn," Neko commented, popping up behind her.

"That sucks." Kit added.

"You know, you guys really aren't much help," Momo said, kneeling down to pick up the broken pieces.

Neko looked insulted. "I could help if I wanted to… but… I think that girl needs me for something!" She lied, pointing in the direction of Tamaki's clients. "But here!" She threw Momo a towel and ran away.

"And I need to…umm… wash my cat!" Kit said, picking up the animal from the floor. It gave a small growl as she bounced from the room.

"Uh…Thanks?" She got to work soaking up the tea with the towel. She placed the broken glass on her tray and slung the wet rag over her shoulder. It was cool now but it left a wet spot on her shoulder.

"Did you have fun?" Neko asked, appearing just when she finished cleaning up.

Momo growled and threw the wet towel at her. Neko ducked and they watched it travel through the air, almost in slow motion, as it went closer and closer until…

_SPLAT!_

It landed right on top of Tamaki's head.

Every girl in the room gasped.

"Tamaki, are you alright?"

"What happened?" The girls asked, flocking around him.

He grabbed the thing off of his head and stared at it quizzically. His first thought was the twins, but they seemed to be just as surprised as he was. He then turned back to Momo and Neko. Neko was standing slightly behind Momo, pointing furiously at the girl.

"Momo," Tamaki said calmly. "Did you throw this?"

"Uhh…. Y-yes?" She stammered. Oh god, she hated it when he voice was all calm like that! You could never tell what he was thinking!

He got a mischievous look on his face and he flung it back at her.

"Eep!" She ducked and it hit Neko in the face.

"You. Die. Now." Neko growled, hurling the rag at Momo. It hit the exposed part of her back that her maid's uniform didn't cover.

"Holy crap that's cold!" She squeaked, picking it up off of the floor where it fell. She threw it randomly, trying to get rid of it. It hit Mori, leaving a wet, light brown spot on his white shirt before it hit the couch.

Momo clapped her hand over her mouth, her face turning red.

"Ooh," Neko whispered in her ear, "You're in trouble…"

"Shut up!" Momo hissed, hiding behind her friend.

In a flash, Mori had her slung over his shoulder.

'Oh god,' Momo thought, blushing. 'My skirt is too short…'

"Hey Momo!" The twins called out. "Nice panties!"

"I'll fucking kill you both!" She threatened. Of course, it didn't really have the full effect.

Mori carried her out of the host room and down the hallway.

The silence was starting to bother her. "So, where are we going?"

As usual, Mori had no response to her question. They had been walking for almost ten minutes now. Both of her shoes had fallen off and were now laying abandoned somewhere in the hallway. The idea made her kinda sad, her shoes just sitting there alone…

He stopped in front of a door and Momo craned her neck to see the sign above the door.

"The p-pool?" She stammered.

"Yes," He said. There was a hint of amusement in his voice.

"No!! NONONONO!!!" She flailed wildly and tried to get free without any results. "RAPE! RAPEEEE!"

He ignored her and opened the large door. The room smelled strongly of chlorine and Momo probably would have liked it of she wasn't in this position.

"Come on, is this really necessary?"

"Yes."

Momo twitched. "You're acting like a small chi-" She couldn't finish her sentence, however, because she was thrown into the pool.

"DAMN! THAT'S COLD!" She scrambled to the edge and pulled herself out. "You're such an ass…" She mumbled, grabbing a towel that some random lady (she guessed it was the swim coach) handed to her. She was trying to wipe some of the makeup off of her face when she heard a small splash followed by bigger splashes.

She turned around only to find almost everyone in the pool. Haruhi was sitting to the side, almost all of the experiences she's had with the Host Club and water weren't good ones. Hunny and Suika were in the shallow part and Suika was talking quietly to him.

Momo watched with a mild interest. Suika barely talked and when she did she was usually loud.

Hunny's lower lip quivered and Momo looked back to Mori who, for once, wasn't actually paying attention.

"Mori," Momo said, pointing to Hunny, who was now crying.

Mori was next to him in a second, lifting him out of the water.

"What's wrong Hunny-sempai?" Kaoru and Hikaru asked.

Hunny sniffed. "Ka-chan wants to break up,"

----

I'm leaving it there because I'm lazy and I'm going to the beach with Neko-chan XD I'm gonna start writing then ext chapter down there…


	18. Chapter 18

OH GOD I'M NOT DEAD! I'm sorry I haven't written anything in FORVER but I was busy all summer and then I had my grades to worry about. This has been nearly done since September but I'm lazy and always doing something XD

-----

"So, it's settled. We'll be going to Scotland for our next club trip."

Neko and Momo cheered. "Guys in kilts!"

Hikaru frowned. "What's up with you two and kilts?"

"Well Hikaru, kilts are…" Momo began, "just really really sexy."

Kaoru laughed. "You know, I thought you were actually going to have a legitimate reason."

Momo shook her head and picked up her bag, getting ready to leave before the guests arrived at the club. "I think the girls liked that one day you guys wore them. I know Neko did…"

"Hehe," Neko giggled to herself, remembering that day. It also brought back some not-so-pleasant memories of Suika, Mimi, and Dylan leaving for Mexico. They had not returned, for they had been eaten by the Chupacabra while eating tacos on a boat.

Just as she started to leave the room, her phone vibrated against her leg. Since the school's dresses didn't have pockets, she insisted on taping her phone to her leg so she could have it at all times. Nobody else seemed to agree that it was a good idea, but she thought so.

"Hey Neko… check your phone…"

She did as she was told. "MOTHER FU-"

Hunny pulled out a random air horn. "Language, Neko-chan!"

"It is totally called for in the situation! WE'RE BEING SENT TO LOBELIA!"

------

"So tell me… why are you doing this to us?" Momo asked as she slid into a chair across from her mother.

She frowned. "Well, Neko's mother and I were talking. We decided that both of you would be better off in an all-girl school."

"And how did you come to this conclusion?"

"To put it simply, you two are little sluts."

"… WHAT?!"

"You spend all of your time with those Host Club boys; you're gone for sometimes days at a time… It's obvious you're having sex. I'm amazed you haven't gotten pregnant yet."

"… WHAT?!? You think I'm doing the guys?!"

"Well at least the tall one… what's his name? Mori?"

"I'm going to bed! Good night!" she said quickly, wanting to giggle. She understood her mother's logic, but it was wrong. Extremely wrong. More wrong than she could ever imagine.

When she opened the door she saw Neko sitting on her bed, looking pissed.

"My mom accused me of screwing Mori," Momo stated simply, sitting down next to her friend.

Neko snorted. "Mine accused me of the same… but only Kyouya. Actually, it wasn't and accusation. It was more like 'I know what you're doing with Kyouya. I'm moving you to an all girls school, have fun with the lesbians.'"

"But we start there tomorrow…"

Neko sighed and nodded. "I'm going to miss them all… even Tamaki."

"I'm scared. What if that one girl tries to recruit us into their club? WHAT IF WE START TO LIKE THEM?"

Neko grabbed Momo by the shoulders and shook her. "NO! THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Momo nodded. "Yes, please stop shaking me. My phone is vibrating in an awkward place."

"So is mine… it must be Tamaki. He always calls us all at the same time so we could discuss stupid things that he found important…"

Momo sniffed, starting to cry. She was going to miss those random calls.

"Hello?"

"Hi…"

"Momo! Neko! We're going to find a way to get you to stay! Meet us at Hikaru and Kaoru's house!"

"Um, I'm not sure if that's the best idea at the moment. I was just accused of sneaking out at night to have sex with Mori, so… yea."

She could hear laughter in the background.

"Well then we'll just have to come to you!"

Neko was going to argue but she figured it would be useless, so she stayed silent.

"Fine. We're in my room. I'll set up the ladder, don't go through the front. My mother would probably send me halfway across the country if she saw that."

"Ok, we'll be there soon!"

"Ok."

They both hung up their phones and Momo walked to her closed and pulled out a rather large ladder.

"… Since when did you keep a giant ladder in your closet?"

Momo shrugged and set it up against her balcony. "Since they randomly started showing up here, I guess. Since you live here you have no reason to use it, so that's probably why you've never seen it."

"Ah."

A few minutes later there was a small noise from below.

"Hurry up!"

"I can't, my skirt is stuck!"

The two girls looked up in confusion as the boys appeared in her room. Every single one of them was wearing the Lobelia uniform.

"… Neko, I think I'm high."

"Well what do you think? This is our plan!" Tamaki said proudly. Kyouya and Mori looked extremely uncomfortable standing there in skirts. Momo was just amazed that Mori found one that fit him. Kind of.

"So what exactly is your plan?"

"… This is as far as we've gotten. We're going to sneak into Lobelia, but that's all we really have at the moment."

"There are so many things wrong with this plan," Hikaru complained, pulling at his skirt. He had no problem with wearing one, but it was winter and his legs were cold.

Neko raised her hand. "I have a question!"

"Yes?" Tamaki asked.

"How the hell are you expecting to get in and not get caught? You all make crappy girls. Except Hunny."

Hunny gave a small cheer.

"Well…" Tamaki thought for a moment. "We'll wear wigs!"

"But you guys have leg hair," Momo pointed out.

"We'll just shave it off!"

The two girls looked at each 0ther.

"We'll do whatever it takes! We won't let you leave Ouran!"

-----

"Hey Neko, where do you think the hosts are?" Momo asked sarcastically.

It really wasn't hard to tell where they were. There was a large group of students just kind of staring at them… and they didn't exactly blend in.

"Hey… is that Dylan?" Neko asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes, I believe it is."

"Is he wearing the uniform too?"

"I think I'm blind! OH GOD!"

Some of the girls turned their attention to them.

"Hey, you're the new girls, right?"

Momo and Neko both thought the same thing. If they acted as insane as possible, maybe they would be put in an asylum. It was probably better than here.

"OH MY GOD THE CHINCHILLAS ARE COMING!" Momo screamed, pointing to a tree.

The girls looked around.

"DON'T YOU SEE THEM? THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!"

The girls were now backing away slowly.

Neko was making a run for the school gates but somebody got in her way.

"Now where are you going, young maiden?"

Neko paled and looked up, cursing her luck.

"BENIBARA!" a group of girls screamed behind her.

"NEKO! RUN! THE FERRETS AND CHINCHILLAS HAVE JOINED FORCES! WE'RE DOOOOOMED!"

Momo ran around frantically until she hit something and fell to the ground.

"Oh god Tamaki, why aren't you wearing underwear?!"

Haruhi (wow, I never ever mention her, do I?) rolled her eyes and started walking away. "I'm going to school," she called over her shoulder.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki called frantically, "Daddy apologizes for not wearing underwear!"

The bell rung and students started piling into the school.

"I'd like you all to welcome our new student, Neko." the teacher said sweetly, motioning to the girl that stood next to her.

"Her friend is also supposed to be joining us but she is currently being evaluated for mental stability."

The girls in the room started whispering amongst themselves as two more people entered the room.

"Hello," one greeted.

"We're the Hitachiin sisters!"

Neko groaned and slid down in her seat. This was their plan? What exactly were the trying to accomplish?

"Well uh… I don't think I have you two on my class list."

"Oh, we just came to get Neko, they want to make sure we know where everything is so they're going to take us on a tour or the grounds."

"Well that's nice! Did you get Momo too?"

The twins looked at each other. "She's being sent back to Ouran. Mentally unstable, you see, and change upsets her."

Neko couldn't tell which one was which, but she knew they were geniuses. She stood up and started across the room.

"How tragic! I hope she gets better when she's back at Ouran."

They smiled. "I'm sure she will."

Neko finally reached them and they left. "Is she really being sent back to Ouran because they think she's insane?"

Hikaru laughed an nodded. "Yea. It was pretty entertaining. They actually got one of the school's doctors to sedate her because she wouldn't stop screaming about the ferrets and the chinchillas."

"Sweet. So what's your big scheme?"

"We're still not sure."

"Chemical fire?" Neko suggested, "I think that's one of the labs." she pointed to the room on their left. "I'm thinking maybe some magnesium…"

They grinned "Good idea."

----

Ok, so it wasn't such a good idea. Half of the school was on fire and there were a few deaths…

But at least she shouldn't stay at Lobelia anymore!

"That was a stupid idea," Kyouya growled as they stood outside the still burning building.

"What happened?" Momo asked groggily. The sedative was finally wearing off and she was confused. Very very confused. "Why is the school on fire?"

"Neko decided the start a fire in one of the science labs using magnesium."

"Oh… that's coooool… Why do I feel like I'm high?"

"You were sedated. They're coming right now to do it again since it wore off," Kaoru said and pointed to the men in white coats that were approaching, one of them carrying a syringe.

"Ooooh…" They injected the sedative and then carried her to a car.

"Are they taking her to a mental facility?" Hunny asked.

"Most likely."

"We should visit sometime."

----

WOO! Its late and I really just wanted to get this done so I made a sucky ending. Oh well. It's done! I'd better get started on the Christmas chapter. MEH. EDIT: OH GOD I FORGOT SO MANY THINGS I WANTEDTO PUT IN THIS! I left out a few characters, so i'm sorry... XP


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